


Don't Break the Ice, Melt It

by Stareyedwolf



Series: Perfection [4]
Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Getting to Know Each Other, Stupidity, True Forms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-28 09:18:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6323710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stareyedwolf/pseuds/Stareyedwolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lady happens upon a Triggered Dante and uses it as an opportunity to get more accustomed to his monstrous nature. The plan gets shot to hell when Dante sticks his foot in his mouth, and Lady does the same soon after. Figurative feet get swallowed, jokes are had, and maybe the plan works out better than expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Break the Ice, Melt It

Dante was a little bored. He mostly had control over his new demonic form. Keyword: mostly. He was very powerful now, but his fine motor control could use work. Whenever his form shifted, he would usually hold it for as long as it took to work out the kinks. He was frankly getting sick of the whole thing. Hopefully, this would be the last time his form would change. 

Currently, he was wandering around his shop doing things at random, just working on moving around comfortably and doing normal things. Not that he would usually stay in demon form long enough to actually be doing domestic-type things, but hey, you never know when the change will stick with you forever and you’ll be living the rest of your life as a demon (he’d certainly heard about such things in less powerful half-breeds).

The shop was silent except for the hum of his Devil Arms pulling on his senses. Today was definitely going to be boring. He almost hoped Trish would come over and bug him. He knew she wouldn’t kick up TOO much of a fuss at him looking like this randomly. Though, she did give him strange looks whenever he Triggered in battle. She always seemed a little too eager to see him slice his way through the hordes…

On cue, he heard a motorcycle pull up on the curb, and heeled feet walking to his door. Speak of the devil and all that, he thought absently. He continued to lie on his stomach on the couch (wings and a tail didn’t make for any other comfortable positions). 

The door opened slowly and he felt no dark presence brushing up against his hide, the tell-tale sign of Trish being around.

“Dante?” A familiar voice called. It was Lady. She always seemed wary to enter his shop, as if she was going to find something terrible. This once, she would be proven right.

“On the couch,” he said simply in his gruff, otherworldly voice. Whenever he was in this form, it would sound as if he had more than one voice talking. It didn’t bother him, merely being a fact of his existence, but more normal folks found it, to put it lightly, unsettling. 

He could hear her pause, practically see the gears in her head grinding to a halt at his voice. She stood there for a few moments, like she was working up the courage to come over and see whether she was hearing right. While they had made some progress with her acclimation to his other side, it was an on-going battle. Mostly, it was up to Lady herself. Dante’s heritage had not changed since he had met her, so he continued to live as was normal for him. Lady was the one who did all the fighting. 

Finally, she seemed to pull herself back from whatever internal battle she was having and began to walk toward him. He could hear that her gait was steady and her breathing was regular. She was a professional, after all. She halted once she rounded the back of the couch and could actually see him. He hadn’t moved from his sprawl on the couch, merely laying quietly with his eyes closed. If his form had been human at the moment, she would have probably smacked the back of his head and told him to get off his ass. 

But he wasn’t human. Lady had realized that fact more abruptly than she would have thought possible. Objectively, she had known that Dante was more monstrous than the average citizen. Now, she had to see physical and undeniable proof, and on a regular basis per Trish’s order. Normally, these dates were strictly scheduled and planned with a meticulousness that only Trish could manage. Lady had never just happened upon Dante looking like this and she was a little shaken.

Dante, on the other hand, was completely comfortable. He was relaxed and comfy in his spot. Once he had Triggered in front of Lady and she made it clear that she would try to accept him as he was, he was no longer worried about it. He figured the problem was taken care of on his end. 

“So, what’s up? Did you need something?” He asked casually. His voice rasped and growled simultaneously, producing a tickle in his throat. It was an interesting feeling compared to the lesser vibrations of speaking with only one set of vocal cords, and he sometimes liked to just hum while in a Triggered state to feel the difference. 

“I, uh… I just came to hang out ‘cause I was bored. No particular reason.” At first, her words were hesitant, but Lady refused to let her nervousness get the better of her. This was DANTE, someone she had known for over a decade. There was no reason to be afraid of him. He was harmless, at least to her.

“Do whatever you want. Phone’s been dead all day. All I’ve done is stare at the wall and sleep. I think I scared away all the fish.” He ended his statement with a sigh. 

Dante’s eyes were beginning to fall shut when Lady spoke up again, ruining his chance at a nap. “So, what’s with the spikes?”

“Ah. I’m just getting used to this shape. It takes time to adjust to it and learning to leash my instincts.” He shuffled his wings a little before settling them in a more comfortable position across his back.

“Leash your instincts?” Lady asked suspiciously, her anxiety coming back in full force. “You gonna go crazy any time soon?”

“Of course not. What do you take me for?” He scowled a bit, his already intimidating face becoming even more frightening. “Don’t misunderstand. I am a Devil, so I will always have this carnal desire to hunt. When something runs from me, I want to chase them and then grind them into the ground. Killing demons gives me a release for that, an outlet. Humans are so… Easy, I guess? If I suddenly got it up my ass to level this city, what are they gonna do about it? I’m the best hunter they got, no offense, so who is gonna stop me? I prefer my prey to at least struggle while I throttle them.”

He fell silent, trying to restructure his thoughts without images of razing his home to the ground. He’d gone on a tangent and completely away from his point.

“Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that my instincts are closer to the surface while I’m like this. But I’m not gonna go killing some random bystanders for no reason. Why would I? There’s plenty of demons in the world to give me a bone to gnaw at.”

Lady digested that little speech, and sat on the coffee table in front of the sofa he was on. Was that really what he thought? That humans were so frail that they weren’t even sport to hunt? She thought back on the brief interaction she had with his twin, Vergil. They were more alike than they realized if that was the case. Her temper began to simmer.

“So humans are beneath you? Not even worth a good snack?”

Dante rolled his eyes, further angering her with his blasé attitude. “That’s not what I’m saying. Humans are great in a lot of ways. They’re emotional, interesting beings to be around. They can counted on for some things, but a good hunt isn’t one of them. Are you telling me to find killing them more fun?” 

Lady’s anger cooled off some at that, giving way to morbid interest. She had never talked to Dante about what he thought and felt about humans. After becoming friends with him, she viewed him as more human than demon. It was clear that his morals and thought-process were alien to her. He was a different species with different values, not just a different shape.

“So… what do you really think about humans?” She saw him gear up for a snappy remark at being asked a sincere question, and cut him off. “Dante, I’m being serious. What do you think of us?”

He was silent for a few moments, before he exhaled a frustrated sigh that came out more guttural than it would normally have, had he possessed a normal chest cavity at the moment. “I don’t fucking know. Fun, make great food, like to have sex with ‘em… Why are we talking about this anyway? I’m trying to fucking sleep and you’re pestering me with questions about morality.”

She huffed a little, but relented. “Well, what am I supposed to talk about? You’re the one who made a speech about big your dick is and how you can squash this town with so little effort that it isn’t even worth it.” 

Dante growled at that but said nothing. No matter what came out, she’d throw it back somehow. He had learned to just give up these types of battles. 

With his pointed silence, she had nothing else to do besides stare at him some more. His body was the only thing in this room that she hadn’t memorized. The spikes on his spine that led down his back and into his tail looked red-hot. The room was a little stuffy and she wondered if Dante was actually a giant space-heater while like this. Did he run hotter than normal even when human? 

“Dante… How hot are you normally?” She saw his eyes fly open, and a grin crack his face and instantly knew her mistake.

“Well, you would know better than me but I’ve been told—“

“I’m talking about temperature.” 

His smirk didn’t waver at all. “Babe, you could fry an egg on me.” 

“I’m surprised you’re so confident when you don’t even have a dick and balls at the moment.” Lady says with a smirk of her own. Dante’s face turns from smug to offended instantly.

“I’ll have you know that my dick and balls are very much attached!”

“Really? You looked pretty flat last time I checked.” Lady snickered at his scandalized look, before he switched tracks.

“I didn’t know you had such a fascination with staring at my crotch, Lady. I turn into a Devil in front of you and the first thing you check is my groin.” Dante gave a little titter of amusement at her blush. He had won this round, it seemed. 

While she cooled off some, both of them staring at each other in mock aggression, Lady wondered how she got so comfortable with him that she went from being hesitant to walk near him all the way to arguing playfully about whether he had a dick as a demon.

A flash of inspiration hit her. “Whatever, Dante. Like any sane woman would want your demon dick. Probably looks like some weird-ass Baddragon dildo.”

“Hey, Baddragon is a popular company and their dildos are nothing to sneeze at. Also, are you imagining what my dick looks like? If you want to see, all you have to do is ask.”

A laugh sounded from near the door followed by it slamming shut, making Lady jump. “Oh, my. What did I walk into?”

Dante rose up from his position for the first time, making Lady scoot away. She didn’t exactly want to get speared with his spikey knees as he walked towards Trish. She could hear his claws clicking against the floor, and saw his stretch his arms over his head with his wings spread out horizontally. After a few harsh flaps of them, which she assumed was to loosen himself up, he moved toward the stairs.

“As much as I love talking about my dick to sexy ladies, I need a shower.”

The girls waited until he was in his room before Trish quietly said, “If you want some demon cock, I can hook you up on some starter products. Baddragon has good options.”

“Oh my god, I’m leaving.” And with that, Lady walked out of the shop without a single look back.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no words. It went from a serious fic about dante and lady getting to know each other to dick jokes in zero time flat. someone take my computer away. the first couple paragraphs were written about six months ago. after dante speaks to lady for the first time, that next paragraph is where i starts writing again last night/this morning.


End file.
